Thursday, May 2, 2024

The Roundup is the Jesuit Dallas Student Voice and Newspaper since 1942. Learn about us.

Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

To say band is “just kids playing instruments” is to say that football is merely a pastime involving leather balls, or that hockey is simply glorified figure skating with sticks. Jesuit Administration's Confession First and foremost, Jesuit classifies band, alongside football and hockey, as an athletics credit. According to the Jesuit website, the band receives not only Fine Arts credit but...
RICHMOND, VA - Voting suppression has never been higher due to oppressive Republicans. This discrimination became clear in Virginia when not a single cemetery received any mail-in ballots. This suppression from Republicans is not new; in the 2020 election, many Republicans tried to falsify many Democratic votes just because the voters were dead. But these votes did end up getting...
While 2020 hasn't been a great year for humanity, it has been great for meme-makers. The memes and group chats have become top-tier distractions from the crippling loneliness of quarantine. Scrolling through my favorite sites for online content got me thinking: Why don't I help pass some time by talking about some of the people you'll most likely see...
Thursday marked the opening of the first-ever Bountiful Scholars Tournament, sponsored by The Roundup. According to the advertisement that was sent out for the tournament earlier this semester, "the tournament seeks to showcase the wit and literary interpretative powers of the contestants." For this first round, scholars must analyze Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham" and debate its meaning in...
Because school was closed Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, the Expository Bowl has been postponed, and The Roundup is unable to announce a new date at this time. We are in the process of rescheduling it and will announce a new date as soon as possible. Honestly, The Roundup is the victim here. We put together a short video in which students...
Jesuit College Preparatory is definitely a great school. With almost 20 sports, over 100,000 community service hours recorded each year, recognition by the Texas Educational Agency, SAT scores that significantly exceed the national average, and much more, there is no doubt in Jesuit's distinction and quality. However, Jesuit still faces a problem that it has probably been facing since its foundation...
Apple's reign as America's most popular cell phone manufacturer has gone unchallenged for too long! Two years ago, I decided I could no longer live the mainstream life. Two years ago, I made the dramatic leap from the iPhone 5C to the Android S7. As I was incompetent when it came to my new phone, there was definitely a little trauma the...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Viewpoints do not reflect the opinions of either Jesuit Dallas or The Roundup.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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About Jesuit Dallas

Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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