Sunday, May 19, 2024

The Roundup is the Jesuit Dallas Student Voice and Newspaper since 1942. Learn about us.

Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

If you went to the football game last Friday, you might have noticed an interesting face in the student section. What was peculiar was that it was a face without a body, nicknamed the Dion Scion (Dye-on Sigh-on). Created by Senior Rudder Allison, the Dion Sign was a popular addition to the student section, bringing good fun and laughter to...
"Dear Dee, What should I wear to Snowball? And also, do you have any winter male fashion suggestions?" -Fashion Challenged   Dear “Fashion Challenged," I want to begin by reaching into the deepest crevices of my memory to bring forth a quote from one widely renowned figure, who every Monday reminds me to have a “Magnificent Monday,” every Tuesday a “Terrific Tuesday,” and every...
To truly understand Valentine's Day and its movement toward the shallow existence it holds today, one must understand its roots. So this article begins with a story. A tale passed down from generation to generation, with the sole purpose to unveil St. Valentine's legacy. The Origins of Valentine's Day The legend begins in the north of Rome, around the end of...
Last week, Jesuit Debate hosted its first in-person debate tournament at the local level since 2020. Over 200 competitors from 15 local area schools competed in the 2 day event.  Jesuit debaters made the event run smoothly, ensuring rounds started on time and competitors and coaches knew the way to hospitality.  In addition to the type of debate Jesuit does...
Ah, pizza. Multiple mounds of melted, magnificently manufactured mozzarella shelter a circular, sweeping, savory sauce covering a curved, copious, crunchy-chewy crust. The delight of many people all around (though it originated in Naples, Italy) is so popular that many languages still call it pizza. Even the Arabic word for pizza, "بيتزا," sounds like "pizza!" In fact, what is better than...
(Disclaimer: This is satire) After nine months of arduous labor, that special week once again approaches us. Finals week. The word final comes the Latin “fin,” which means the end or the border, and the Greek “al,” which means through great pain and suffering. Students have spent the entire school year preparing for an hour and a half exam for each...
“Dear Dee, I’m having girl problems. I like this girl a lot but don’t know how to ask her out. What do I do? Desperate Dave” Dear Desperate Dave, “The heart wants what the heart wants” I believe is the age-old adage to which your situation applies. Longings for love can yield either feelings of transcendental ecstasy or backbreaking emotional pain, with the...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Viewpoints do not reflect the opinions of either Jesuit Dallas or The Roundup.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

Submit a Viewpoint

About Jesuit Dallas

Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

Learn More >