Tuesday, May 21, 2024

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Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Dear Dee, How do I know if I’m in love? - Lost Louie Dear Lost Louie, Love. Just think about that word for a minute. Ignore what you are reading and just let your mind flow. What does love mean to you? Do you even know? (I know you’re unsure “Louie,” but this is meant for reflection for the other readers.) Can you...
On September 5th, the city of Dallas had aerial sprays over the Jesuit Dallas campus in an attempt to calm the recent senioritus breakout. Jesuit had worried that its students, specifically seniors, were sick, noticing that many students had failed to show up to any of the mandatory meetings in the week following the first day of school. Mr. Garrison,...
Dr. Michael Degen (Michaelem Degeletianus) remains a legend amongst the Jesuit Dallas academic ecosystem. Located in the vibrant environment of the English Commons, Dr. Degen has established his role as a veteran educator, claiming numerous awards on his march to literary greatness, as well as remaining a gatekeeper on many an English student's high school career. Characteristics Dr. Degen - owing...
Dear Everyone, Dee here with one last advice column. There is no specific question or topic I will be covering with this one, and if you’ve read all my other columns, you know I’m keen to go on rants, so, with no topic at hand, this one could get a little crazy. AWWWW YEEEAAAAAHHHH. Ahem, pardon me. I do in fact...
"Dear Dee, What should I wear to Snowball? And also, do you have any winter male fashion suggestions?" -Fashion Challenged   Dear “Fashion Challenged," I want to begin by reaching into the deepest crevices of my memory to bring forth a quote from one widely renowned figure, who every Monday reminds me to have a “Magnificent Monday,” every Tuesday a “Terrific Tuesday,” and every...
“Dear Dee, I have been accepted to five colleges. How do I now choose which one? - Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided”   Dear Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided, I decided to name you “Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided” as a shout out to Jesuit Theater’s recent production of “Rumors”, and furthermore, because naming you multiple names plays on the idea...
Like the ominous clouds lingering on the distant horizon, evil's echos tremble in every fold of fabric in the days of our lives. Every photon of hope photosynthesizes the last plant needed to sustain life. Yet humor blows the clouds before the sun, mocking man. Damn the thoughtless laugh, dancing on the graves of Death's sad victims, singing songs...
Well, it’s that time of year, and if you have a girlfriend and for some reason have decided to look to me for advice on what to get her, I can do you one better.  Through years of experience and extensive scientific research, I've made a list of things not to get your girlfriend for Christmas.  Impressive right? For...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Viewpoints do not reflect the opinions of either Jesuit Dallas or The Roundup.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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