Saturday, April 27, 2024

The Roundup is the Jesuit Dallas Student Voice and Newspaper since 1942. Learn about us.

Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Dear Dee, So many choices at the Jesuit cafe?  What's a hungry boy to choose? Hungry Hugo Dear Hungry Hugo, Lunch? You wish to know my thoughts on lunch, to advise on you on the “perfect lunch”? Hmmmm… Interesting. All things making up this perfect lunch must be items that can be purchased from the Jesuit cafeteria? Ok, well, even though I don’t...
Dear Donica, What should I do on Friday nights? --a President Nonplused   Dear "President Nonplused," I was planning to begin by saying that Friday night is arguably the best night of the week because it kicks off the weekend, doesn’t require the doing of homework, and when it ends, you wake up (or fall asleep depending on the length of your festivities) on...
"Dear Dee, What should I wear to Snowball? And also, do you have any winter male fashion suggestions?" -Fashion Challenged   Dear “Fashion Challenged," I want to begin by reaching into the deepest crevices of my memory to bring forth a quote from one widely renowned figure, who every Monday reminds me to have a “Magnificent Monday,” every Tuesday a “Terrific Tuesday,” and every...
“Dear Dee, I’m having girl problems. I like this girl a lot but don’t know how to ask her out. What do I do? Desperate Dave” Dear Desperate Dave, “The heart wants what the heart wants” I believe is the age-old adage to which your situation applies. Longings for love can yield either feelings of transcendental ecstasy or backbreaking emotional pain, with the...
On September 5th, the city of Dallas had aerial sprays over the Jesuit Dallas campus in an attempt to calm the recent senioritus breakout. Jesuit had worried that its students, specifically seniors, were sick, noticing that many students had failed to show up to any of the mandatory meetings in the week following the first day of school. Mr. Garrison,...
Nervous, sun-streaked crowds of incoming Jesuit students marked the hallways this week as the new year kicked off. The usually exciting first day took a turn for the worse, however, as things got hectic. The servers at Jesuit were used to hosting roughly 700 iPads/devices at one time, but when more than 1300 students and faculty members tried to...

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The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

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The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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