Tuesday, November 5, 2024

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Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Intro Picture this: You are finding your groove while editing your video. You are struggling to piece together your film or video, but now you know everything is starting together. Everything is beginning to come together, and you are making enormous progress on your project. Then you go to another tab to look something up, and it takes a minute....
The Cowboys suffered a brutal loss to the Washington Commanders on Sunday, losing an embarrassing 26-6. After this game, I do not see how anyone thinks they are Super Bowl contenders. This is hands down the worst loss this year and it is not even close. In his first game, Dak Prescott, the same QB on a record 160...
One dark and stormy night, Mr. Goll noticed a leak in the roof, damaging a painting. In an act of bravery and honor, he saved the painting, cementing himself not as the hero Jesuit deserved but as the one they needed. He brought the salvaged painting to his office, but after realizing it wasn't worth much on eBay, he...
Hell has happily tortured damned souls for the last several thousand years below the Earth's surface. But Director of Operations, Satan, has found a new campus that increases misery in ways the demons had never dreamed of.  "As excited as I am to move to California, I have mixed emotions," Satan said in a recent interview, "I'm afraid because Gavin...
Harvest Hill Traffic Light Harvests Hell on Earth Abstract It’s three minutes before the 8:50 a.m. bell rings for the first class – or just three minutes away from when your extra-curricular instructor kindly requested you show up. Maybe you’re a senior and you had a long lunch after service and are racing back to make that mandatory(?) class meeting at...
On April 15th, 1955, the world became a better place. For 67 years, McDonald's has been producing some pretty great food, but it gets a bad rap despite that. Here is the case for McDonald's. What people (falsely) say Fake Food Let's start with the elephant in the room, or fake plastic elephant, to be more specific. For decades people have been...
Class tensions have always been at the forefront of controversy in American politics throughout American history. It has been a centuries-long battle between rich and poor. Yet, people always forget how hard the rich have it. It's time to change that by forgiving student loan debt! Medical School and Law School are expensive! Those student debts are the only things...
As gas prices skyrocket, the mere dollar bill won’t cut it. So here's a "Modest Proposal" for the oil companies.  Chevron, who recently partnered with Apple and Amazon, is always in need of cheap child labor; build a clever cost-effective program so that you can sell your kids for gas. And it’s a great deal too, for one child...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Viewpoints do not reflect the opinions of either Jesuit Dallas or The Roundup.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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