In all of my realizations, none have been so profound as this. Some might even call it the most groundbreaking assertion ever. This revolutionary truth possesses so much power and gravity, that it could uproot society as we know it. So it is with great care and apprehension that I share my finding with you. Over the course of this article, your mind will undergo a spiritual conversion, and you will sea why the ocean is a soup.
Scientifically Backed Proof
We begin our search with Cambridge University’s dictionary. Cambridge University has been publishing books since 1584, meaning it is the oldest publishing house in the world. According to US News, Cambridge University is the 8th best university in the world, the 2nd best according to Top Universities, and the 3rd best according to Times Higher Education, and 4th best according to the Academic Ranking of World Universities. Thus, Cambridge is one of the most prestigious and respected universities in the world.
As stated in their online dictionary, a soup is “a usually hot liquid made from vegetables, meat, or fish.” Just using this definition for a checklist, the ocean has vast collections of all of these. The water acts as a liquid, seaweed and other species make up the vegetables, and obviously the fish in the ocean meet the requirement for “meat, or fish.” You ocean-soup deniers might say “Oh! but it says soup is ‘hot’ and the ocean isn’t.” To that, I present to you Gazpacho, the cold soup native to Spain. Look it up. So, according to Cambridge, the ocean is a soup.
Let’s take it a step further. Now the soup traditionalists will be truly staggered by the scientific reasoning behind this idea, nay this fact, that the ocean is a soup. Think of the common characteristics of a soup: seasoning, different vegetables, it’s edible, you can put a bowl of it in the microwave. The ocean meets all of the criteria. What if I told you that the ocean water was salty? Boom seasoning. What if I told you that there are over 10,000 edible species of ocean vegetables? Boom different vegetables. What if I told you that you’ve eaten ocean products before through fish, salt, or seaweed? Boom it’s edible. What if I told you that yesterday I microwaved a bowl of salt water from the ocean for the first time in human history? Boom you can put a bowl of it in the microwave.
Conclusion
I have used scientific reasoning and credible sources. You, the reader, have no choice but to agree with this fact. The debate is over. Unequivocally, a hot dog is a sandwich, water is wet, and the ocean is a soup.
