A bead of shimmering sweat slowly creeps down his face. The bead convenes and coalesces with another of its kind, streaks down his chin and then falls to the ground of the Senior Courtyard.
Why would a senior be sweating?
SAT? Nope. Calc test? Nope. College applications? Eh, maybe. Big game tonight? Definitely not.
Inability to tie a bow tie? Yes!
The senior bow tie is a mark of prestige, wisdom, and well, seniority. Yet many seniors are left stranded in front of a mirror, sweating, unable to properly tie a bow tie.
In this article, you, no matter how flustered, will learn how to tie a bow tie the proper way, in order to exercise your senior privileges.
Before we move on, it is vital to understand that a pre-tied bow tie does not solve the problem, but in fact makes it worse. According to some bow tie experts, “A pre-tied bow tie reflects a weak character.” Avoid being called out by your Jesuit brothers in class for your pre-tied buffoonery and learn how to tie a real bow tie with The Roundup.
One of the easiest ways to practice is tying a bow tie around your thigh. Follow the 10 Step Plan and you will be able to tie a bow tie in less time than it takes to cook a waffle at breakfast.
Halm’s 10 Step Plan
*Pants and miscellaneous notebooks not included
