Sunday, December 22, 2024

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Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

“Dear Dee, I have been accepted to five colleges. How do I now choose which one? - Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided”   Dear Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided, I decided to name you “Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided” as a shout out to Jesuit Theater’s recent production of “Rumors”, and furthermore, because naming you multiple names plays on the idea...
Dear Dee, What will life be like after Jesuit? - Curious George Dear Curious George, Life will be different, interesting, weird, exciting, uncomfortable and amazing. It will be a plethora of experiences that will invoke all kinds of thoughts, feelings and emotions. I am now wondering if, while reading this, you noticed something about the commas in the first two sentences?...
Dear Dee, How do I know if I’m in love? - Lost Louie Dear Lost Louie, Love. Just think about that word for a minute. Ignore what you are reading and just let your mind flow. What does love mean to you? Do you even know? (I know you’re unsure “Louie,” but this is meant for reflection for the other readers.) Can you...
Dear Dee, So many choices at the Jesuit cafe?  What's a hungry boy to choose? Hungry Hugo Dear Hungry Hugo, Lunch? You wish to know my thoughts on lunch, to advise on you on the “perfect lunch”? Hmmmm… Interesting. All things making up this perfect lunch must be items that can be purchased from the Jesuit cafeteria? Ok, well, even though I don’t...
Dear Donica, What should I do on Friday nights? --a President Nonplused   Dear "President Nonplused," I was planning to begin by saying that Friday night is arguably the best night of the week because it kicks off the weekend, doesn’t require the doing of homework, and when it ends, you wake up (or fall asleep depending on the length of your festivities) on...
"Dear Dee, What should I wear to Snowball? And also, do you have any winter male fashion suggestions?" -Fashion Challenged   Dear “Fashion Challenged," I want to begin by reaching into the deepest crevices of my memory to bring forth a quote from one widely renowned figure, who every Monday reminds me to have a “Magnificent Monday,” every Tuesday a “Terrific Tuesday,” and every...
“Dear Dee, I’m having girl problems. I like this girl a lot but don’t know how to ask her out. What do I do? Desperate Dave” Dear Desperate Dave, “The heart wants what the heart wants” I believe is the age-old adage to which your situation applies. Longings for love can yield either feelings of transcendental ecstasy or backbreaking emotional pain, with the...
On September 5th, the city of Dallas had aerial sprays over the Jesuit Dallas campus in an attempt to calm the recent senioritus breakout. Jesuit had worried that its students, specifically seniors, were sick, noticing that many students had failed to show up to any of the mandatory meetings in the week following the first day of school. Mr. Garrison,...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Viewpoints do not reflect the opinions of either Jesuit Dallas or The Roundup.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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