Humor/Satire

Recent Survey: 83% of students have not eaten in 3 weeks – busy doing homework

Over time, Jesuit students have had incredible academic success. This success arrived when students learned to prioritize scholastic worth over literally anything else. It...

Types of People on Online Calls

While 2020 hasn't been a great year for humanity, it has been great for meme-makers. The memes and group chats have become top-tier distractions...

Is Ted Cruz the Zodiac Killer?

Ted Cruz: Your Senator, A Murderer!? It’s an early morning, snow blanketing the ground outside of the Calgary hospital. A seemingly innocent child is brought...

The One, The Only, Dion Sign

If you went to the football game last Friday, you might have noticed an interesting face in the student section. What was peculiar was...

All Hail The College Board

(Disclaimer: This is satire) After nine months of arduous labor, that special week once again approaches us. Finals week. The word final comes the Latin...

Quist Impresses in First Round of Bountiful Scholars Tournament

Thursday marked the opening of the first-ever Bountiful Scholars Tournament, sponsored by The Roundup. According to the advertisement that was sent out for the...

Expository Bowl Postponed, New Date and Time TBA

Because school was closed Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, the Expository Bowl has been postponed, and The Roundup is unable to announce a new...

How to Solve Jesuit’s Big Problem

Jesuit College Preparatory is definitely a great school. With almost 20 sports, over 100,000 community service hours recorded each year, recognition by the Texas Educational...

Must read

Jesuit Baseball Begins Season With Weatherford Invitational

After a brief period of scrimmages to start the...

The Supreme Court Rebukes Donald Trump’s Tariffs

And so, we come to a final adjudication: Donald...

Six More Athletes Join a Class of 14 College Signees

On Thursday, February 5, Jesuit Athletics participated in its...

2026 Texas Democratic Senate Primary Preview

The 2026 Midterm Elections are shaping up to be...