Mr. Garrison, incredulous, shakes his head and mumbles incoherently to himself as he takes out a sharpie to make amends to the 28 Acre t-shirts he recently commissioned as a surprise for Mr. Knize. Last Friday, March 27th, Jesuit discreetly settled a court case with the homeowners of the neighborhood to the rear of the school, conceding around an...
Are you looking for the perfect gift for a family member or friend this Christmas? Do you have a secret Santa for whom you need the perfect present? Do you want to knock the socks off of the recipient of your wrapped surprise? Then you need to read this guide for the 15 hottest gifts of the Christmas season!
15....
"Grant Uy's reign of terror has finally come to an end," commented senior counselor Mr. Oglesby, referencing the shocking scandal that has begun to unfold following Uy's withdrawal from Jesuit yesterday. Uy, who had the highest GPA among the senior class, was asked to leave the Jesuit community after repeated instances of cheating, a development that has come as...
Well, it’s that time of year, and if you have a girlfriend and for some reason have decided to look to me for advice on what to get her, I can do you one better. Through years of experience and extensive scientific research, I've made a list of things not to get your girlfriend for Christmas. Impressive right? For...
Homecoming is almost upon us, and it’s time to scramble and find a homecoming date.
Now the first step in asking someone to homecoming is finding someone to go to homecoming with (assuming that you don’t want to go stag or don’t want to go at all). There are many ways that you can meet a potential date. There are...
Onsie upon a time…
I guess the first thing I should do is introduce myself. I’m Drew, I’m a sophomore, I’m in band and robotics, and I make a killer PB and J. Alright, I’ve had enough of that. I’m going to talk about clothes. Specifically, a world of one cloth.
Imagine for a second a world where everyone has to...
Dear Everyone,
Dee here with one last advice column. There is no specific question or topic I will be covering with this one, and if you’ve read all my other columns, you know I’m keen to go on rants, so, with no topic at hand, this one could get a little crazy. AWWWW YEEEAAAAAHHHH. Ahem, pardon me.
I do in fact...
