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Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Campus Life

Quist Impresses in First Round of Bountiful Scholars Tournament

Thursday marked the opening of the first-ever Bountiful Scholars Tournament, sponsored by The Roundup. According to the advertisement that was sent out for the...
Connor Thomas '18, Editor-In-Chief -
Football

Expository Bowl Postponed, New Date and Time TBA

Because school was closed Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, the Expository Bowl has been postponed, and The Roundup is unable to announce a new...
Connor Thomas '18, Editor-In-Chief -
Humor/Satire

How to Solve Jesuit’s Big Problem

Jesuit College Preparatory is definitely a great school. With almost 20 sports, over 100,000 community service hours recorded each year, recognition by the Texas Educational...
Francis Ko '21 -
Campus Life

Why I Switched to the Dark Side

Apple's reign as America's most popular cell phone manufacturer has gone unchallenged for too long! Two years ago, I decided I could no longer live...
Reed Zimmermann '19, Managing Editor -
Campus Life

Brother, Why Must I Park Far?

For years, Jesuit students who fail to get a junior lot parking pass have been pushed to the outskirts of the school and forced...
Noah Johnson '18 -
Humor/Satire

These People NEED to be in the NBA Celebrity All-Star Game

On Friday, February 17th, at 7 p.m. ET, ESPN will broadcast the 2017 NBA All-Star Celebrity Game live from Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans,...
William Heckel '17 -
Humor/Satire

5 Things that are Better than Pizza

Ah, pizza. Multiple mounds of melted, magnificently manufactured mozzarella shelter a circular, sweeping, savory sauce covering a curved, copious, crunchy-chewy crust. The delight of...
James Patterson '16 -
Humor/Satire

The End of The 28?

Mr. Garrison, incredulous, shakes his head and mumbles incoherently to himself as he takes out a sharpie to make amends to the 28 Acre...
Joseph Duebner '16 -
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