In Defense of McDonald’s

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On April 15th, 1955, the world became a better place. For 67 years, McDonald’s has been producing some pretty great food, but it gets a bad rap despite that. Here is the case for McDonald’s.

What people (falsely) say

Fake Food

Let’s start with the elephant in the room, or fake plastic elephant, to be more specific. For decades people have been like, “oh, McDonald’s beef is not real beef, and also, I’m stupid.” But the first part is not valid. People allege that the beef is just “pink slime,” however when asked about it, McDonald’s said “they were made of ‘100% USDA-inspected beef.'” Additionally, they said that “there are no preservatives, no fillers, no extenders, and no so-called “pink-slime” in our beef.” If you are still unconvinced, you’re ignorant and apathetic to the truth. But also, here is more evidence: Mcdonalds factories perform at least 40 quality checks.

Plain Food

If you are ever defending the dignity of the Holy Golden Arches and someone says the food is plain, first laugh in their face because that is ridiculous. Next, show them the diverse and elegantly crafted menu. Look at the Big Mac; it’s a bun between two patties; that’s revolutionary! It adds meat while maintaining the perfect beef to bun ratio. In addition to that stroke of GENIUS, it has “pickles, crisp shredded lettuce, finely chopped onion and American cheese for a 100% beef burger with a taste like no other.” And don’t forget the divine Big Mac Sauce. Heck yeah! If your mouth isn’t watering, I feel bad for you.

Bad Food

That’s not only false; it’s stupid. How dare anybody waste time and energy articulating such falsehoods. Take the McGriddle. Holy $%*@! The “bun” is basically a pancake presoaked in the perfect amount of syrup to retain flavor and not yet reaching the point of critical syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste. It’s not food. It’s art.

It’s Bad For You

Definitely a hard case here. While most fast food is not going to be great for you, there are some not terrible options. In terms of American Fast food, that’s a win. Obviously, items like the fruit and Maple oatmeal are healthy (320 calories, 4.5g fat, 64g carbs, 6g protein), however, there are more healthy-ish items that might surprise you. For example, the hamburger (250 calories, 9g fat, 31g carbs, 12g protein) is not a bad option either. Look, it’s not an easy argument here, but it could be worse.

What’s True

It’s the breakfast of billionaires

Warren Buffet eats McDonald’s at least three times a week. He’s one of the wealthiest men in the world who accumulated his massive fortune through wise decisions. This is one of them.

It’s a successful company

A company does not stay in business by producing a bad product, especially for nearly 70 years. Additionally, in 2021, they generated $23.22 B in revenue, equivalent to 9,325,301,204.82 hamburgers (at $2.49 each). Nobody sells that many bad burgers.

It’s darn fast and consistent

While you may not LOVE McDonald’s (because your tastebuds are broken), it’s almost always the same. Additionally, you generally get your order lickety-split. When it comes to fast food, McDonald’s is a master, they basically invented it.

In conclusion…

McDonald’s is good. If you think otherwise you’re close-minded.

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