This Summer, nine members of our faculty and staff are walking a route in Spain with sites related to the life of St. Ignatius. The following post by Mr. Paul Kolker ’03 is the fifth in a series of their reflections.
“Why do I do this to myself?” asked Esperanza, one of the fellow pilgrims we did not originally expect to have joining us on the hike over the mountain. “Nobody asked me to do this. I should be on a beach somewhere. Drinking cocktails.”
It was what we were all thinking. After 3 or so hours of uphill climbing, we were all tired, ready to reach the top, and in need of a break. But we knew we were on the right road, thanks to the occasional red and white trail markers interspersed among the rocks.
Those trail markers became a constant meditation for me throughout the hike, reminding me of how God works in our lives. It all started in a conversation with one of the other teachers on the trip. We noticed that the trail markers on our hike could be easily overlooked. “You’d miss it if you weren’t looking for it,” came the observation. That’s when it hit me: the trail markers are similar to the process of discernment offered to us by St. Ignatius.
In order to discern, we have to be looking for the signs God is giving us, however small they might be. He is constantly attempting to guide us, but He will not force His guidance upon us. He respects our freedom enough to let us wander if we so choose. The moment we see those signs, however, we know we are on the right road…even if that road climbs up a steep slope, or travels through a cold cloud, or never seems to level out, or contains loose rock for most of the way. The trail markers gave us the constant assurance that we were moving in the right direction.
We even became separated in the cloud on the mountainside, but because we knew to look for the signs, we understood that we could find the rest of our group again. Eventually we did reunite at the top, rejoicing in the sense both of our individual and group accomplishment. We had arrived. It was difficult. It was frustrating at times, but we had persevered in looking for the signs that marked our path.
And this is the help that St. Ignatius offers us on our way to God. He does not promise a gentle or easy path, but he has helped us to improve, by his Spiritual Exercises, the vision of our souls as we search for the trail markers on our journey to the heights of God.
