This Summer, nine members of our faculty and staff are walking a route in Spain with sites related to the life of St. Ignatius. The following post by Mr. Max von Schlehenried ’06 is the sixth in a series of their reflections.
Today we have reached a milestone on our journey – we have mostly completed our journey through Iñigo’s home region of “Spain,” known as the Basque Country. We walked approximately 20 km today through the rest of the mountain range we began yesterday and spent some extra time finding our way when we crossed paths with the famous Camino de Santiago, often questioning the maps. Our Bags seemed heavier – feet more swollen – and minds and bodies ready for a rest as we ready ourselves to take a train to our next stage in Catalonia to walk for six more days. The Basque people have been extraordinarily welcoming to us during our stay and we are most grateful
to them.
Today I found myself questioning whether my bag was too heavy and I spent time while walking the lonely mountain paths trying to decide what I could offload at the next stop. A few nights ago I let some possessions go: some pants, shirts and underwear. I found myself realizing that I honestly didn’t need them anymore and that they would be more detrimental than helpful as I walked up and down the challenging mountain paths. Today I realized that there wasn’t really anything I could let go of – all of what I have left I need to complete this journey – at least that’s how I feel now.
I prayed about other things as I walked and for the intentions of the people who had sent their prayers with me. As I prayed, a thought entered my mind about letting things go. The discernment of the spirits, of which Saint Ignatius writes, can be very challenging at first. He urges us to learn the ways of deciding what we really need and of what we must let go – What the good spirit motivates us to carry and what the bad might trick us into carrying. It is not always an easy task.
Some people think they have to let everything go but I saw it differently today. Some things just have to be carried. Sometimes those things are for others: like the big bottle of ibuprofen and the first aid kit. Sometimes they are necessities like water, but often they are extraneous and cloud the way – The bag gets too heavy and we begin to act out of pain and frustration, pushing God and others away. If we can figure out how to discern the things that are more indistinguishable from each other we can make more room for Christ and others. Once we reach a place of close proximity to Christ, our load doesn’t really matter anymore, we don’t anticipate discarding anything but we also accept if we have to carry more for a time. The tension is in the balance – I ponder this as I take the next step. I bet there’s still a lot I can let go.