It’s hard to believe that when the Texas State Fair started, there were no wacky foods such as Fried Ice Cream, Frozen Chocolate Bananas, or Fried Butter, but it was indeed a horrible, horrible time. Food stands trotted out the same boring old food, year in and year out. However, in 2004, the Big Tex Choice Awards were established, and everything changed. Stands began coming up with wacky new foods, and the staples of the State Fair that we know and love today were born. So, what cardiac-causing creations were debuted this year?
Fried Texas BBQ Shotgun Shells
Price: $8
Location: Bluebonnet Roadhouse
Cardiac Arrest Scale: 11/10
This deep-fried blend of both brisket and barbeque, is made by Bluebonnet Roadhouse, which is roughly located across the way from Chevrolet Stage.
This delightful fried treat is made with a pasta shell that contains brisket, barbeque, and bacon on the inside, as well as Velveeta and cream cheese. The outside is battered with jalapeño crumbs that give it a spicy aftertaste. This delectable treat pairs extremely well with a Dr. Pepper or Root Beer.
Rating: 9.3/10
Ox’Cellent Soul Rolls
Price: $22
Location: Pearlie’s Southern Kitchen
Cardiac Arrest Score: 4/10
This rendition of Soul Food is made by the top cooks at Pearlie’s Southern Kitchen, located just to the south of Swine Barn.
The dish includes two terrific Hush Puppies with it, which you should keep in mind considering the price. The braised Oxtail is extremely well made, with a nice smoky flavor. The roll that the oxtail is held in is light and crunchy, perhaps a bit too light for some people’s taste. The dish comes with some chili sauce that is rather flavorless and only a little bit spicy.
Rating: 9.5/10
The Big Texan
Price: $18
Location: Fryed
Cardiac Arrest Score: 9/10
This rendition of traditional loaded chili fries by Fryed has… mixed results, to say the least. The fries are of poor quality and become mushy upon contact with the queso.
The brisket mixed with the fries is meh. It does not meet any good BBQer’s standards and overpowers the bits of bacon in the fries. The BBQ Sauce and queso are the saving grace of the dish, as they actually blend together to create quite a soothing flavor with the brisket and fries. It also pairs well with an ice-cold lemonade. Other than that, it is a rather middle-of-the-pack meal that probably should have stayed an idea.
Rating: 4/10
Fried Pho
Price: $24
Location: Eat Crispies
Cardiac Scale: 3/10
You read that correctly. The traditional Vietnamese dish Pho, which consists of noodles, meat, and vegetables with broth, has been fried.
What will they think of next? The dish is interesting concept by Eat Crispies in theory, but a little wonky in practice. The bread shell that the noodles and vegetables are housed in is nice, but distinctly clashes with the otherwise tasty noodles. The meat is of okay quality, as are the veggies, but the dish unravels with the broth. It is given to you in a little cup and is nowhere nearly enough brough to finish the entire dish. The number of noodles in this is gigantic compared to all the other dishes so far, and you can barely get halfway through before running out of broth. Also, the noodles will spill out and make everything extremely messy. Save yourself some trouble and get normal Pho.
Rating: 3.9/10
Trail-Ade
Price: $14
Location: Ms. Ruth’s
Cardiac Scale: 1/10
The first (and only) drink on our list is a non-alcoholic beverage found in the Cotton Bowl Plaza at Ms. Ruth’s. The presentation of this drink is a 10/10. A little mint leaf floating on top of the drink with three raspberries looks extremely good, and to top it off, it’s served in a mug shaped like a boot.
Now, the bad. Notice how the cardiac scale is a 1/10. This is accurate, as it is not very fatty. However, if we had a diabetes scale, it might very be a 100/10. It might be enough to put someone’s grandma into a diabetic coma. The drink is supposed to be berry flavored, yet it is completely disturbed by the cucumber flavoring season they put in it. It ruins the whole makeup of the drink. It’s a memorable drink, but for all the wrong reasons. And the Boot Cup.
Rating: 2/10
Bourbon Banana Caramel Sopapilla
Price: $20
Location: Texas Sopapilla Factory
Cardiac Scale: 9/10
This treat can be found inside the food court, to the left of the Mattress Firm recliner exhibit. While the price is steep, the proportions are massive, and can easily be shared with several people. The sopapilla itself is excellently baked, and the powdered sugar is just the right amount.
The caramel has a nice gooey quality that doesn’t make it hard to open your jaw, and the bananas provide a nice yin to the savory syrup. However, this dish has two big flaws: Butter & Utensils. The utensils aren’t their fault, they’re just using the ones that the State Fair provides, but the sopapillas are really hard to cut up with just a plastic knife and fork and makes eating it rather tedious. The butter, however, is 100% on them. Two giant butter patties are slopped on top of the whole dish. While that sounds great in theory, there is a problem: the butter is cold. I get that they don’t want the butter to spoil, but instead of melting and adding even more flavor to the dish, it just kind of awkwardly sits in the basket until the end of the meal, where it then dissolves into the leftover caramel. I still think it’s incredible, and one of the best sopapillas I’ve ever had. Pairs well with a chocolate milk.
Rating: 9.5/10
Biscoff Delight
Price: $15
Location: Drizzle Cheesecakes on a Stick
Cardiac Scale: 10/10
Located in the very back corner of the Food Court, this treat has quite a few surprises. Firstly, the presentation is simply amazing. The Biscoff cookie is gently placed on top of the cake, and the crumbs completely shroud the normal cheesecake appearance.
You might have already guessed that due to the company that serves this meal’s name, it is on a stick. You are correct in that regard. That adds a huge boost of convenience to whole dish that I found quite nice. The cheesecake itself is frozen, which is nice for the still blazing Texas weather. The caramel drizzle on top gives a lot of flair to the presentation, but overall does very little for the flavor. After you eat the delicious Biscoff outer shell, the cheesecake itself is… meh. It’s very bland has a pinch of salt in it, but it really lets the Biscoff flavor be the dominant one in every bite and is kind of just a coolant delivery system. The proportions on this one is deceiving, as it can easily feed two people. It pairs very well with a vanilla milkshake.
Rating: 8.2/10
This review barely scratches the surface of what the State Fair has to offer in the culinary department. Fried Sushi, the classic Corny Dog, and many others are also available at the State Fair. Make sure to have fun, stay safe, and wear some sunscreen.
Stay tuned to The Roundup for more Food and Cultural Reviews
