Dear Donica,

What should I do on Friday nights?

–a President Nonplused

 

Dear “President Nonplused,”

I was planning to begin by saying that Friday night is arguably the best night of the week because it kicks off the weekend, doesn’t require the doing of homework, and when it ends, you wake up (or fall asleep depending on the length of your festivities) on a day off from school which is followed by yet another day off from school.

However, right as my fingers were about to begin hammering away on the keyboard, my little needle-of-a-thought-process injected my brain with a little dose of empathetic analytical thinking (a pretty obscure metaphor) that insists that, depending on one’s circumstances, schedule, mood, desires, feelings, needs, commitments, state of mind, and/or state of being, Friday night may not prove so spectacular.

Ergo, after analyzing possible situations with different thought processes, the only thing true about Friday night arguably being the best night of the week is the fact that it’s arguable. Friday night is not always nor always can be the best night for everyone. It is all up to interpretation and circumstance.

On a side note, I’ve never quite understood the meaning behind something being arguably something. For example, “so-and-so is arguably the best basketball player around.” Does that mean it is easy to argue/prove that “so-and-so” is the best basketball player around? If so, I use “arguably” in a dual sense here in reference to Friday: it is easy to argue/prove that Friday night is the best night of the week, but, due to our friend called “circumstance”, it can also be easy to argue/prove why it is not. Therefore, the concept of Friday night’s quality is, in essence, totally arguable, not just arguable from a positive standpoint.

This would be much easier if I just knew the meaning of the expression.

Whatever, it helped get my point across: Friday night can be both awesome and/or tragic (tragic is a bit harsh but it’s what came into my head first).

So, my friend, I will attempt to absolve your Friday night of all tragedy, but, in the end, it’s up to you.

Let’s start off easy. Do you have any commitments on Saturday?

Yes? If they are in the late morning or any time later than that, you’re in the clear, and I will get to that later. If they are in the early morning, you’re “attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis” [Leonard Hoefstadter] (I’m guessing with a wilting knowledge of German that that is how his last name is spelled. Here’s also to hoping that that is a German name, or at least close, otherwise I’ve just made a fool of myself.

Furthermore, who would have guessed I’d be up to look up that quote but not how to spell his name? (I don’t know either). By the way, I didn’t forget to say what that actually means; it means “screwed”. It is also fair to say that you are the last line of Stu’s “Tiger Song” from The Hangover, and if your mind needs refreshing, it rhymes with: “then you’re hit out of luck.” Actually, instead of saying it rhymes with that, I could have just said put an “s” in front of hit. That would’ve been easier but I sometimes like to take the road less-traveled.

I am joking though, of course. If your commitments are early in the morning on Saturday, you could invoke what a lot of people appeal to nowadays and say “#yolo” and go out late and all that kind of stuff, which is fine, as long as you don’t actually say or think “#yolo,” in which case I would have a hankering to eliminate every trace of you from this planet.

If you’re fine with little sleep (which is up to you to decide, I can’t know how you are able to function with little sleep), by all means, go out and have a good time.

Or, if you can take a nap later in the day do so as well. But if not, then you may have to abandon the concept of a “fun Friday” and go to bed early. Sometimes misfortunes such as these are unavoidable, but whatever, it’s just one Friday. Don’t let it get you down, man. This connects back to the concept of perception and interpretation. Let it be a positive experience.

Moving on, if you have no commitments on Saturday and have nada, zilch, zero, null, nil things to do (big, time-consuming things that is), then congratulations! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!

Once again, merely a joke. It’s good if you sometimes don’t have anything to have to do, aaaaaand…… it frees up your Friday night, which leads me to my last piece of advice. Party.

And here is where things get interesting. What did you think of when you read the word “party”? Whatever popped into your head first is likely what you truly want to do. It is true that the stereotypical definition of “party” is a large get together with music, dancing, games, and drinks.

That’s another little psychological game I wanted to play. What did you think of with the word “drinks”? Naughty, naughty. I, personally, meant soda of course, coke to be exact… maybe with a little rum thrown in ;).

Again, just a joke, I felt like letting the alcohol allusion go a little longer, because, come on, it fits.

Back to what’s important here: Despite those things (a big get-together with music, dancing, games, and drinks) that stereotypically define a party, a party can really be anything, and whatever you thought of it to be personally is what you should do. Whether it is the stereotypical definition, whether it’s hanging around doing nothing in particular with a small group of friends, whether it’s having a date night with your special someone, go and do it. Whatever you think of when someone says “party,” go and do it.

Hold on. Freeze frame. Back to the stereotypical definition of party for a second. Notice I didn’t mention snacks. Why is that? Why do party hosts (teenage ones anyway) tend to overlook snacks? I’m not one to complain, per say, because I can munch on my own time, but, hey, come on, I’m a fan of some free snacks. You know what are really good? Those subway sandwich party platters. Yessssssss.

But seriously, do whatever comes to mind when you think of “party” or “having a good time.”

If you can’t find something to do, though, there’s nothing wrong with having a little time for introversion. Separating yourself from people and being alone isn’t bad. Some like it better than being with people.

When you’re with people and have to deal with other peoples’ actions, emotions, thoughts, etc., you set yourself up for a potentially negative environment.

Spending time alone is great: You get to focus on yourself and your own thoughts, and this can help you when you hang out with people again. You get a chance to put things in perspective, rejuvenate, and do whatever you wanna do. It’s truly underrated.

So, in summary, provided that duties and outside commitments are still met, do whatever your mind tells you to do on Friday. Whatever grabs your attention when you think of partying or enjoying yourself- do that.

And don’t be afraid to spend time alone, either. If you do that, you’ll truly “get down on Friday”.

Oh rats, I went the whole way without mentioning that suboptimal, dysfunctional, talentless, shameful, undeserving, pathetic excuse for a girl, Rebecca Black, in a topic revolving around Friday. Alas, I couldn’t not do it. I still haven’t seen that abhorrent video, but since I mentioned her, it looks like she wins this round.

Sincerely,

Dee